To, You

To, you. Well, what a wild ride. Can you believe you made it this far? You’re here, in this moment. You’re here, not just living it, but enjoying it too. It's about time we strip things down, unpack and discuss exactly how you got here, and give yourself the credit you deserve for being exactly where you are, today.

What you thought was the worst of it, actually wasn’t even the worst part. You were up against a beast so big that it became impossible to fight back. A relentless beast that didn’t want to leave you alone. You walking away and admitting defeat wasn’t enough, this wanted to erase you entirely, and the crazy part is; for a while, you began to want the same. How did you become an ally to achieve the goal of our enemy, to destroy you?

It’s important for your fragile soul that you don’t hold onto blame. It’s perfectly natural, and I think quite well for us to take accountability and be aware of our actions, but let it be known, and believed, nothing of what you went through was your choice. This was not something that you brought upon yourself and is absolutely no reflection on the person you are or any of your actions. This is by no means ‘karma’. You were put in this situation, and best believe me when I say, did you experience it. You lived through it. You cried through it. You struggled through it, but above all else – you got through it.

Do you know just how strong you are?

All of those sleepless nights, the sting under your eyes and down your cheeks from the repetitive tears.. (I guess sensitivity isn’t just skin deep either, is it?) But you know that it’s entirely understandable that you felt that way, right? It’s absolutely okay for you to hurt. It’s okay for you to feel every single emotion in its entirety, you’re allowed to do that.

I’m proud of you.

I’m proud of you because in amongst all the chaos, when you lost sight of yourself and the variety of wonderful qualities you have, do you know what you did? You bounced back. In amongst a cloud of carnage and confusion, you wafted through the fog and what did you find? The sunshine. And how amazing does it feel? The beams of sunshine, the glow, the warmth – you did that. You found that. And now precious one, it’s time for you to enjoy that. Let’s go soak up some sun.

I'm proud of you for seeking help. Seeking help is one of the hardest and bravest things that you could’ve done. I know what a deal that was to you – I know how much courage that took. I know that you used to think asking for help was a last resort, and at times I also know that you didn’t realise that maybe that’s exactly where you were. We all have a textbook definition of what last resort and breaking point means but what you have grown to discover is that everyone’s breaking points are individual, and darling, you had come face to face with the monster that was about to break you.

It didn’t come easy. I know that. You waited years for this help and even then you questioned whether you were entitled. Of course you were. Of course you are. You are entitled to learn to love yourself just as much as anyone else. And do you know what else you’re entitled to? To accept the love that others have for you too. And I love that you are finally coming to welcome that there are many people who love you. Whole heartedly, authentically and sincerely love the person you are and all that you stand for.

Are you aware of the strength you have? To know that despite it all, you continue to be a wonderful person that those around you love and cherish. You are a confidant to many, a personal diary, a space of safety and a ray of sunshine. You have no idea of the impact that you have on those around you. It's difficult sometimes, to comprehend that someone can have the kindness that you do. Filled with so much love for another that in the past you've fallen short of loving yourself. And when I look at you, I see someone who radiates so much warmth that you enable others to no longer feel the cold. Have you noticed the spring that’s back in your step? Have you noticed the way in which your shoulders aren’t scrunched up beneath your ears with lessons way more than your years? Have you noticed the way in which people are noticing the return of your spark, the way you laugh again?

When I look at you, there's so much that I see. In amongst the many reasons I admire you, your inspirational come back is what strikes me the most. Although for you it may have felt like a lifetime, you didn't stay broken for long. A fighter. With determination like wildfire, here you finally are. Welcome back, warrior. We've been waiting for you. With all my love, Me x